I lost focus on my challenge for a couple of weeks (I think that's how long it's been). I had a bad PMDD episode which basically meant it took everything I had in order to function and there wasn't much left over for anything or anyone else. The episode was preceded by a 40 hour work week done in 4 days and followed by an effort to return to normalcy after the episode. This past weekend brought with it its own stress...as do most weekends these days. Nathan and are coming up on our one year mark, which means a temple sealing is coming up soon as well....of course, this means that the adversary is actively pushing buttons in our lives to make the time leading up to the sealing as miserable as possible. Which means weekends, especially Saturdays, tend to be rough. This weekend was no exception. Nathan and I are fine, btw, but life is more emotional for me and stressful for him. This is why my focus has been inward lately.
But I don't like that. I don't like that I have been so focused on myself. I know that when I try to focus on others I feel better and life goes better. So I am back to making a concerted effort to serve others and love others so that change might happen, even if that change is only with me.
Today, I brought Nathan lunch at work. He frequently works an entire shift (8:30 am - 7:15 pm) without eating an actual meal. It's not ideal but it's a reality of his job. When I talked to him after my morning of meetings (one of which included lunch), he mentioned that he hadn't eaten and asked me to bring him something on my way out to one of my sites. I immediately agreed and then asked him what he wanted. His choice required going slightly our of my way AND getting out of my car to order it. But I love him, so I did it willingly.
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