I swear as time goes on it gets harder and harder to keep acts of service at the forefront of my mind.
On Thursday, my act of kindness was to order Nathan's anniversary present. I wanted to make sure that it's here in time for our anniversary next month. It was a lot of fun working on it for him. I wish I could say more, but I can't.
On Friday, I bought Nathan and his coworker lunch and took it to them at work.
On Saturday, I let Devon have control of the downstairs television and gave him a day off from chores.
On Sunday, Nathan and I taught our youth Sunday School class.
On Monday, I took care of myself. I went to work and got my hair done. And hung out with Nathan playing puzzle games on my phone. It was a good day.
On Tuesday, I let it go. I came home to a ridiculously messy home and two boys who were playing video games, one of which had had a friend over. Instead of harping on them, I asked them to pick up some stuff while I made dinner. In reality I wanted to get onto them and pack the Xbox-es away. This feels like a very frequent experience.
I feel like I'm getting in a service rut. I have been focusing on other things, so my acts of service are not as thought intensive as I had hoped. I want to shake it up a little and do more. That's my goal for the next 7 days.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
It's Not Okay to Say "Retard"
My act of kindness today is to try to make people more aware of how the use of the word "retard" or any derivative is demeaning.
My friend Shan shared a link on facebook, which I shared as well, and will also share here:
I feel very strongly about this subject. I have a great aunt who has Down Syndrome. I have cousins and a brother who all fall on the Autism spectrum. I have worked with kids, teens, and adults who have developmental and/or physical disabilities.
I feel the same way about the use of the phrases "That's gay" or "You're gay." They are used in the same way as "retard" and "retarded"---that is, to imply that something or someone is stupid or slow or different.
It's not okay. It's just like saying "nigger." It's not okay to use that word, so why is it okay to call some one "retarded" or "gay"?
I don't know if it's a generational thing or a cultural thing to use these words. When I was the site director of the Boys and Girls Club, the kids there would say things like that all of the time. I continually reprimanded their use of these words/phrases by explaining just how demeaning they were. And then I heard my boss refer to something as being "gay." To this day, I wish that I had said something. I brought it up in a round about way by mentioning in a conversation with him that I didn't let the kids use these phrases, but I never said anything directly to him about his use of it.
I feel like people use them thinking there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. They think they're just words, with no power behind them. But that's not true. They are more than just words. And this casual use of them gives them an unhealthy power because people believe it's okay when it's not.
I don't know that many people actually read my blog. This is more for me to account for my acts of service. Still, if you do, please take a moment to read the blog I linked and please rethink how you use the words, and even more, how you view these people. I have never met someone with special needs who did not touch my heart and bless my life.
My friend Shan shared a link on facebook, which I shared as well, and will also share here:
I feel very strongly about this subject. I have a great aunt who has Down Syndrome. I have cousins and a brother who all fall on the Autism spectrum. I have worked with kids, teens, and adults who have developmental and/or physical disabilities.
I feel the same way about the use of the phrases "That's gay" or "You're gay." They are used in the same way as "retard" and "retarded"---that is, to imply that something or someone is stupid or slow or different.
It's not okay. It's just like saying "nigger." It's not okay to use that word, so why is it okay to call some one "retarded" or "gay"?
I don't know if it's a generational thing or a cultural thing to use these words. When I was the site director of the Boys and Girls Club, the kids there would say things like that all of the time. I continually reprimanded their use of these words/phrases by explaining just how demeaning they were. And then I heard my boss refer to something as being "gay." To this day, I wish that I had said something. I brought it up in a round about way by mentioning in a conversation with him that I didn't let the kids use these phrases, but I never said anything directly to him about his use of it.
I feel like people use them thinking there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. They think they're just words, with no power behind them. But that's not true. They are more than just words. And this casual use of them gives them an unhealthy power because people believe it's okay when it's not.
I don't know that many people actually read my blog. This is more for me to account for my acts of service. Still, if you do, please take a moment to read the blog I linked and please rethink how you use the words, and even more, how you view these people. I have never met someone with special needs who did not touch my heart and bless my life.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Minecraft and Boxed Noodles
Friday: I stayed home today because I wasn't feeling well. The boys were out of school (well, the younger two were, so we let our older one stay home, too), so Nathan called to instruct them to clean the house (his act of kindness to me, in theory). Our 11 year old got really upset because he "had to clean the entire house by himself and couldn't do anything until Dad got home from work" (which was at 2:00 mind you). He pouted and sulked and finally hid in his room, while his brothers and our 17 year old and I cleaned. I went to talk to him very patiently (that was my act of kindness...I wanted to tell him to suck it up and get to work because he helped make the mess) and gave him the option to help (and therefore participate in any family activities that day) or to stay in his room. I gave him 15 minutes to decide. He finally chose to help, although it was somewhat grudgingly. I cut him some slack, though, because his brothers hadn't been to stay with us in a couple of weeks (the holiday disrupted our normal schedule), and he has to readjust every time they are with us.
Saturday: Our youngest got baptized today. He lives in SLC, so that's where we were for the baptism. Afterward, we stopped by Trader Joe's to pick up some things while we were up there. My 11 year old helped me grocery shop (this is something that I usually like to do by myself). I said yes to several things that he wanted that I would not usually buy. Some were fruits, so that was fine. We also bought some peanut butter cups (at $5 a box) because he wanted them, and some boxed noodles to try (I can't stand those things...these are just a slightly healthier version of Ramen Noodles...ick).
Sunday: Today my act of kindness was to play Minecraft with Nathan. He and the boys are obsessed with this game, and I just don't get it! So, in an effort to figure out what all the fuss was about, I played the game with him. After about 30 minutes, I passed the controls to my 8 year old.
I still don't get the point of Minecraft.
Monday: Yesterday I picked up the living room before work. Our house is a mess every time the younger boys come to visit. Chaos always ensues despite my best efforts. I came downstairs yesterday morning to trash that needed to be taken out, a sink full of dishes, a table with half full bowls of soup from the night before, and a war zone for a living room. I wanted to run away.
Instead, I made myself breakfast and settled in to watch some Netflix before work. After I finished eating, I put the living room back together (instead of screaming and running away).
Of course, by the time I got home last night it was already "lived in" again. Thank you boys.
Saturday: Our youngest got baptized today. He lives in SLC, so that's where we were for the baptism. Afterward, we stopped by Trader Joe's to pick up some things while we were up there. My 11 year old helped me grocery shop (this is something that I usually like to do by myself). I said yes to several things that he wanted that I would not usually buy. Some were fruits, so that was fine. We also bought some peanut butter cups (at $5 a box) because he wanted them, and some boxed noodles to try (I can't stand those things...these are just a slightly healthier version of Ramen Noodles...ick).
Sunday: Today my act of kindness was to play Minecraft with Nathan. He and the boys are obsessed with this game, and I just don't get it! So, in an effort to figure out what all the fuss was about, I played the game with him. After about 30 minutes, I passed the controls to my 8 year old.
I still don't get the point of Minecraft.
Monday: Yesterday I picked up the living room before work. Our house is a mess every time the younger boys come to visit. Chaos always ensues despite my best efforts. I came downstairs yesterday morning to trash that needed to be taken out, a sink full of dishes, a table with half full bowls of soup from the night before, and a war zone for a living room. I wanted to run away.
Instead, I made myself breakfast and settled in to watch some Netflix before work. After I finished eating, I put the living room back together (instead of screaming and running away).
Of course, by the time I got home last night it was already "lived in" again. Thank you boys.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Chuck-A-What?
Yesterday, I took Devon, our 11 year old, to Sylvan to be assessed. What we thought was going to be a four hour assessment turned into a 6 hour assessment (I bought and read a book during this time!). He did a great job and actually had fun in the process. We go next week to find out exactly what kind of intervention he needs (and exactly how poor we will be afterward!). Anyway, I wanted to treat him because I knew it was a really long day for him, so my act of kindness was to let him choose any place he wanted to go for lunch. I am a particular eater (I've improved quite a bit over the years), so this was big for me.
He chose Chuck-A-Rama.
It's a buffet restaurant that is popular in Utah. And it's one of the LAST places I would have chosen. But I sucked it up and took him there for a late lunch. Then I took him shopping for shoes (he picked a pair of DCs) and clothes. And cologne (He chose Nautica Blue). And a DS game. It was a lot of fun, and he even let me buy him two button down shirts and a pair of loafers (he's a tshirt and skater shoes kid)!
Today my act of kindness was to leave a note for one of the facilitators I supervise. She made sure to leave me a document that she knew I would ask for (it's the end of the month) but hadn't asked for yet. She totally rocks! So I told her so!
He chose Chuck-A-Rama.
It's a buffet restaurant that is popular in Utah. And it's one of the LAST places I would have chosen. But I sucked it up and took him there for a late lunch. Then I took him shopping for shoes (he picked a pair of DCs) and clothes. And cologne (He chose Nautica Blue). And a DS game. It was a lot of fun, and he even let me buy him two button down shirts and a pair of loafers (he's a tshirt and skater shoes kid)!
Today my act of kindness was to leave a note for one of the facilitators I supervise. She made sure to leave me a document that she knew I would ask for (it's the end of the month) but hadn't asked for yet. She totally rocks! So I told her so!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Back in the Saddle
I lost focus on my challenge for a couple of weeks (I think that's how long it's been). I had a bad PMDD episode which basically meant it took everything I had in order to function and there wasn't much left over for anything or anyone else. The episode was preceded by a 40 hour work week done in 4 days and followed by an effort to return to normalcy after the episode. This past weekend brought with it its own stress...as do most weekends these days. Nathan and are coming up on our one year mark, which means a temple sealing is coming up soon as well....of course, this means that the adversary is actively pushing buttons in our lives to make the time leading up to the sealing as miserable as possible. Which means weekends, especially Saturdays, tend to be rough. This weekend was no exception. Nathan and I are fine, btw, but life is more emotional for me and stressful for him. This is why my focus has been inward lately.
But I don't like that. I don't like that I have been so focused on myself. I know that when I try to focus on others I feel better and life goes better. So I am back to making a concerted effort to serve others and love others so that change might happen, even if that change is only with me.
Today, I brought Nathan lunch at work. He frequently works an entire shift (8:30 am - 7:15 pm) without eating an actual meal. It's not ideal but it's a reality of his job. When I talked to him after my morning of meetings (one of which included lunch), he mentioned that he hadn't eaten and asked me to bring him something on my way out to one of my sites. I immediately agreed and then asked him what he wanted. His choice required going slightly our of my way AND getting out of my car to order it. But I love him, so I did it willingly.
But I don't like that. I don't like that I have been so focused on myself. I know that when I try to focus on others I feel better and life goes better. So I am back to making a concerted effort to serve others and love others so that change might happen, even if that change is only with me.
Today, I brought Nathan lunch at work. He frequently works an entire shift (8:30 am - 7:15 pm) without eating an actual meal. It's not ideal but it's a reality of his job. When I talked to him after my morning of meetings (one of which included lunch), he mentioned that he hadn't eaten and asked me to bring him something on my way out to one of my sites. I immediately agreed and then asked him what he wanted. His choice required going slightly our of my way AND getting out of my car to order it. But I love him, so I did it willingly.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
I Chose to be Happy
On Friday, my act of kindness was to myself. I know that goes against the rules, but as I made the rules, I can change them! I chose to walk from the main campus up to the office building where my department is housed (I have an office on the main campus) instead of driving. The walk there and back is about a mile total, which made me feel really good. I also abstained from drinking Diet Coke even though I was in need of caffeine!
On Saturday, my act of kindness was laundry. Our dryer had been out of commission for a couple of weeks, which meant we made due by hanging stuff up to dry and by using Nathan's parents' washer/dryer set. On Friday, our dryer was fixed. As in, the dryer repair man came, pushed the on button and it started. Seriously. Of course, every time Nathan and I tried that nothing happened. Anyway, he cleaned some things, and went on his way. So, I spent all of Saturday (and most of Sunday) washing, drying, and folding laundry while Nathan was as work (he was sick on Sunday) and Devon had a friend over.
On Sunday, my act of kindness was to magnify my church calling. Nathan and I were called to teach Sunday School to the younger youth (12-14/15 yrs old). We are responsible for teaching twice a month, but we split that so it's really on once a month each. With Nathan home sick (stomach flu, blech), it was up to me to teach our ginormous class of teens. I focused on the lesson both Saturday and Sunday, and then took what I had, said a prayer, and started teaching them. It was soooo much fun, and I think they enjoyed it as well.
On Monday, I found out some surprising news. My father remarried. She's beautiful. She's from the Philippines. And she's young. As in, younger than me. By 12 years. While the family members I spoke with were shocked and/or upset by the news, I laughed and simply said, "That's my dad." To be fair, he did tell me before he left that he was going to find a bride. I told him if she was younger than me, I wouldn't call her mom.
I chose to be happy about the situation. And I genuinely am happy for him. He's been divorced for 30 years, and in all that time he has never stopped looking for a wife. I'm glad he has found one, and I pray that all works out well in his favor. My only disappointment was that he didn't fly me to the Philippines for the wedding!
On Saturday, my act of kindness was laundry. Our dryer had been out of commission for a couple of weeks, which meant we made due by hanging stuff up to dry and by using Nathan's parents' washer/dryer set. On Friday, our dryer was fixed. As in, the dryer repair man came, pushed the on button and it started. Seriously. Of course, every time Nathan and I tried that nothing happened. Anyway, he cleaned some things, and went on his way. So, I spent all of Saturday (and most of Sunday) washing, drying, and folding laundry while Nathan was as work (he was sick on Sunday) and Devon had a friend over.
On Sunday, my act of kindness was to magnify my church calling. Nathan and I were called to teach Sunday School to the younger youth (12-14/15 yrs old). We are responsible for teaching twice a month, but we split that so it's really on once a month each. With Nathan home sick (stomach flu, blech), it was up to me to teach our ginormous class of teens. I focused on the lesson both Saturday and Sunday, and then took what I had, said a prayer, and started teaching them. It was soooo much fun, and I think they enjoyed it as well.
On Monday, I found out some surprising news. My father remarried. She's beautiful. She's from the Philippines. And she's young. As in, younger than me. By 12 years. While the family members I spoke with were shocked and/or upset by the news, I laughed and simply said, "That's my dad." To be fair, he did tell me before he left that he was going to find a bride. I told him if she was younger than me, I wouldn't call her mom.
I chose to be happy about the situation. And I genuinely am happy for him. He's been divorced for 30 years, and in all that time he has never stopped looking for a wife. I'm glad he has found one, and I pray that all works out well in his favor. My only disappointment was that he didn't fly me to the Philippines for the wedding!
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Lunch Date
I bought my coworker lunch today! It was actually a lot of fun. We were doing an event on campus (right during lunch time), and she said that we should get lunch on the way back to our offices. Then she remembered that she had left her wallet in her office. We decided that we would go back to the office first and then get lunch.
Well, when it came time to actually go, I told her I would buy her lunch. She agreed, but only if she could reciprocate next week, which I accepted. Technically I benefit from this by getting lunch next week; however, when I made the offer I had no expectation or desire for reciprocation. I only accepted because I knew that was the only way she would let me buy her lunch today.
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